Saturday, December 5, 2015

12 Days of Mom Complaints

I think it's time to switch up from all of this thankfulness and let off some steam during this holiday season.

If you pay any attention to Facebook, you would notice that people spend a lot of time trying to remind each other - and themselves - to count their blessings.

Let's face it.

There's a reason we have to remind each other. Probably because anyone who wears Mom Shoes (or the Mom Hat, or whatever you want to call it), sometimes find it difficult to veer our brains away from the myriad of reasons to complain.

After all, our kids, alone, give us plenty of reasons to complain on an hourly basis.

Sure, we love our kids and they are blessings. We all know that. This holiday season, let's put it on the table like it really is. #KeepingItReal

Here's the 12 Mom Complaints of Christmas:

On the first day of Christmas...

1. Everything's going to get broken any darn way. I'm not going to expect my favorite ornaments to make it through in one piece this holiday season. Most of my dishware probably won't survive either. That's because I have kids. And they break everything. I'm not even going to ask for anything for Christmas, either. What's the point?

2. Poop happens. Somehow, some way, there will be a bathroom emergency every day, between now and Christmas. A unnamed little person will probably pee her pants or the toilet will overflow, someone will need a diaper change or help wiping. Even on Christmas day, there will be poop.

3. Encores will get tedious. Your favorite children's books will start to drive you nuts with encores. The movies and televisions shows will, too. We're in for the wrath of annoyance once the little ones are able to tell us what they want.

4. If it's not broken, it wrecked. I'm sure that we've all learned that even if it's not a breakable item. Like, say, a broom. The handle will somehow get bent or the end of the broom will disappear altogether.

5. An appealing meal is now child's leftovers. Don't pretend that you're not finishing off room temperature chicken nuggets and French fries covered in way too much seeped in ketchup. Or the last few sips of Kool-Aid.

6. Phone calls will be interrupted. Haven't heard from Aunt May since last Christmas, and, of course, the children will be perfectly peaceful as you answer the phone. Within 30 seconds, though, they will be off the walls, screaming and tattling, the television blasting, and that wretched sound of breaking glass will reverberate from the kitchen.

7. The house will never be clean enough for company again. Sorry, there are children living here.

8. Someone will use their outside voice inside.  It's the holidays. What better time to hoot and holler? Or shout out some holiday lyrics?

9. They are going to ask for every-bleeping-thing. It's Christmastime, and that means Santa is coming. And, they've all of our kids have been such good boys and girls all year long. That's why they made lengthy lists of wishes and emailed, mailed, and texted them to Santa. Plus, all the commercials. "Mom! I want that! Yeah, I want that!"

10. Mom Guilt will kick in. Who hasn't experienced mom guilt during the holidays? Seem like we can't do everything we want to do for our kids. Heck, mom guilt happens enough in daily life. The holidays just add to it!

11. Mom Anxiety will kick in. Mom anxiety kinda goes along with the Mom Guilt, but it can be totally different, too. Like when the kids start amping up as Christmas gets closer and closer. This, too, shall pass.

12. No baths alone. Not even during the holidays.

And a partridge in a pear tree.

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