Thursday, August 20, 2015

Why Do We Teach Our Kids To Share?

You can throw stones at me, but I really don't feel like we are supposed to teach our kids to share as a general rule. I could list a million reasons why. But, I'll just give you a couple of examples.

Say that your little girl was playing with her doll, as happy as she can be, by herself. Then my little girl went over to your little girl and started acting like a fool because she wanted to play with the doll.

Is it really right to tell your daughter to share?

Turn the tables.

How about I come up to you while you are jamming out to the music on your iPod and throw a hissy fit because I wanted the iPod?

What if someone told you to share with me?

That's not going to happen, because that's not how real life is!

So, why do we teach our children to "Share" like it's a mantra? Of course, I'm not saying not to teach your kids to share. It just shouldn't be a general rule as a child, because that's not a general rule for real life.

Let's say you are at work, sitting at your desk, desperately trying to beat a deadline. Your co-worker comes over and throws a temper tantrum, because she wants to sit at your desk and use your computer and do your work!

You're going to look at her like she's crazy. Or, you might have the urge to slap her.

That doesn't happen in real life! So, why enforce it upon our kids? See how you felt? How do you think a kid would feel?

I can imagine them thinking, "That's just ludicrous!"

We should also be teaching our children how to play together and get along and negotiate through potential problems. But, why use the word "Share"?
It's kind of rude of us as parents totally disregard our children's feelings and force them to share.

Now, certainly, we should be teaching the child who doesn't want to let anyone that comes to his house play with any of his toys that there's enough to go around, several times.

I'm not saying never, never, never use the word "Share", but to pick our battles. Suzy and Henry can work it out. And, if they can't, then we should step in just a bit and guide how they work their way through the problem. (Without using the word "Share".)

Sure, there are times when it's nice to share. We're supposed to be kind to each other. But, sharing is not the answer to all problems.

Just because I have a more comfortable chair and desk and a more updated computer at work than you do (haha!), doesn't mean that I should have to share it with you anytime you feel like you want to use my office space.

I'd like to see someone try it!

It would be kinda fun, though, if we really could (as grown adults) go up to someone and throw a fit because we want to drive their Lamborghini. And a big voice boomed, "Share!" to the Lamborghini owner, and she reluctantly handed over her keys.

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