Friday, November 12, 2010

Mothers Judging Mothers

 You know, it seems to me that once you become a mother, you immediately enter yourself into a whole new world of judgement. We're judged if we breastfeed, judged if we don't. Judged if we co-sleep with our new little ones, judged if we don't. We're judged by how well our children behave or because of the mistakes that they make. Judged if we spank, judged if we don't. We're judged if we go to church with our kids and we're judged if we decide against it. As mothers, we are under more scrutiny than most other people, regardless of the fact that we work harder and longer hours than most! And, I'm only just getting started...

When it comes down to it, the mothers (or anyone, for that matter) who have (has)appointed themselves as "judges of other mothers" sit around thinking about how everyone else parents incorrectly while they raise judgmental children. Yes, we're judged by OTHER MOTHERS who think that their strategies are far better than ours (or they are better altogether...they have more money, better clothing, more jewelry), and they are no better than any other mother on this Earth. Because no money, no strategy, and no "perfect mothering" outweighs real love for your children.

They don't LOVE their kids any more than any other mother...their kids may not even behave better...they just FEEL like they are better moms...

If You Appointed Yourself As A Judge...

If you are one of those mothers that stand around and judge other mothers (or parents, for that matter), who are you to pass judgement? Who made you so doggone perfect that no other mother can pass YOUR standards? You know, what? I have some "judgement" for you...

Yes, take that with a grain of salt. From what I heard, there is only ONE supreme being, and it's not you. Believe me, if you are pointing the finger at someone else's parenting strategies or judging ANYONE in any way, you're not perfect either.

I could come up with endless posts on this blog that announce that I know that I am not the perfect mother. So What? You're not either. And, here is another thought (please excuse the fact that it's a "copy"):

I will certainly put my opinions out there on this blog, but I'm not going to put myself in the shoes of perfection and pass judgement on another mother, her mothering strategies, or the way that she chooses to raise her children. The truth is: to each his own, and maybe your strategies work for Y-O-U, but that doesn't mean that they will work for other mothers...and just because another mother's strategies don't work for you doesn't mean they are wrong.

Beyond Strategies...To the Extreme

It makes me absolutely disgusted that people judge the parents who are struggling to keep a roof over their children's heads...the parents that work for long hours making next to nothing each hour that they are away from their family and then come home, make dinner (or they may even miss dinner because they work long hours and do not make it home until late) and rush through the ten million other things that need to be accomplished each night when you have kids.

How dare anyone complain that their house is not perfectly clean or that their dinnertime is not at exactly six o'clock each night? How dare another parent frown at them because their child showed up to school with a dirty shirt on because they didn't have $5 to do the laundry? What IF they have less money than you and cannot afford to purchase mittens and hats for their kids? If you have the time to waste judging that parent, wouldn't it be better spent at the thrift store buying new hats and mittens for those kids and DOING SOMETHING NICE FOR A CHANGE?

Change Will Come...

Look, it only takes one person to make major changes in the lives of others. Rather than judging someone else, you could be thinking about how you could positively affect their parenting style or help their children in a loving and kind way. Quit acting like someone appointed you a judge, get off your goodie-two-shoes behind and make a change.

Maybe the only change you need to make is to stop being so ridiculously judgemental. We're not in High School anymore...just because you have more friends, more money, more jewelry, drive "better cars" or think you have "better parenting strategies" doesn't mean that you love your children ANY MORE or raise your children ANY BETTER than anyone else...

Grow Up


  1. I definitely agree with this post 100%! Day one, I told people, you can give me your advice and that's fine, but when you start telling me what to do as a mother, then I draw the line..there's definitely a difference in the two. No matter what it is though, people are going to always have something to say whether they're getting paid to or not!!

    I'm going to follow your blog! <3

  2. The giveaway is still active! I extended it until Sunday night!


Thanks for your feedback!

alt="YOUR TEXT HERE"rel="Facebook image"src="IMAGE URL HERE"style="display:none;">