Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Are You Breastfeeding Or Flashing Your Breasts?

Recently, a picture was posted on Facebook by someone on my Friends List that made me tilt my head and scrunch my eyebrows. Now, just so you know, I don't know how I met half of the people on my friends list, but over the years, I have become friends with friends of friends and so on and so forth.

Here's the thing: I could go on and on about how I've breastfed all 9 of my children, how healthy it is, how wonderful of a bond it creates, etc. So, before I get into the picture, this person had posted something about breastfeeding and people talking bad about her because she was pumping for her 2 year old and that was "gross".

Now, pumping breastmilk for a 2 year old is perfectly FINE, in my humble opinion. That's our choice as mothers and the milk is so sweet and it's their comfort drink, if you can pump and they will drink it, why not? So, here's what I posted:

Good for you!!! I have breast fed all 9 of my children. Not only have they been extremely healthy...no ear infections, get over colds and flu faster than me, they're also smart (DHA, ARA). It has set me up for kids sleeping in my bed (I cosleep and bf); but hubby and I are ok with that.  I love the bond it creates and it's a bit out of the norm, many dad's don't necessarily like it but mine is 100% supportive (although he's not really excited about sharing, he says there's no way he'd have it any other way, lol). I bf'd all of mine til they were at least 1. Most of them til they were 2 and one or 2 even beyond that. One of my children, I stopped, my choice, and to this day, I feel guilty cuz I know he still wanted to bf. It was a hard time for him, letting go of his "boobies" but I was stressed and losing weight and not producing milk like he needed it. DO YOU - don't let anyone tell you how to do you!

So, that was my take on her post, but as I am scrolling through more of her stuff, I see the picture. Take that back, pictures!

Back to the Pictures

These pictures are 90% breast and 10% baby. And, she defends posting them by saying that she's not ashamed of "feeding her son".

Okay, here's the thing: I think that there is a sort of modesty and graciousness that we should exercise when we are breastfeeding. Sure, there's nothing wrong with our bodies, but they are OUR BODIES, and do you really want every pervert from here to Nigeria seeing your boobs? Because, that is what you are doing. You are posting them online, and even if you are breastfeeding, if 90% of the shot is boob, you know darn well what the perverts are looking at.

I won't go too far into it, but there are underground websites that exploit pictures like that. They post the pics on their sites along with your personal information for all the perverted, nasty sickos in this world. That's what you are exposing yourself too. (This also goes for the ladies who think they are sending private messages on FB with their naked booty shots. Wake up call: ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET IS ACCESSIBLE TO HACKERS like I just described. That includes Facebook private messages!)

But, even still, when you post a picture of your breasts and only 10% of that picture (and, mind you, some of the pics, you only see part of the baby's face - the face is cut off, but both breasts are in the pic!) is the baby, I have a hard time believing your full intention was to share a precious moment.

Case In Point

I have another friend that posted a pic of her breastfeeding, and in the background, was the train station. Her caption was something to the effect of At this point, I think we've breastfed almost everywhere, to which I had to respond that I might have her beat, having breastfed 9 kids in at least 5 different states. Anyway, she showed not one tiny part of her breast, but you could tell by the slant of her son's head that she was breastfeeding.

There's a difference between class and...well, I'll let you finish the rest.

My Experience

With breastfeeding, in the comfort of my home, anything goes. But, out in public, I try to find quiet and private places and make sure that I am fully covered. There are so many creeps out there in this world! That's not going to stop my from feeding my child, but it does make me feel more comfortable covered up or sneaking into somewhere that is more private.

So, I wish I could post the pics that I am talking about so you form your own thoughts about the topic. But, based on what I have said, what is your opinion about this?

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Belli Skincare - Only the Best for Expecting Mom's (Don't Miss Out!!!)


May brings Mother's Day and Pregnancy Awareness (something I'm well aware of!) Month, a month full of joy for Moms and Moms-to-Be! 

Belli Skincare (www.BelliSkincare.com) is on top of their game for these two special occasions, kicking off the month of May with a HUGE PROMOTION that includes giveaways and discounts (20%) on their website. Love that! 

Then, there will be a grand prize package that they have valued over $1,200. You know I'm getting in on that one! 

This is my absolute favorite! The Anti-Blemish Facial Wash and the Healthy Glow Facial Hydrator - they both smell like Heaven, with a citrus-y fragrance that makes hubby like to snuggle. :) The hydrator is amazing. I've found that even oily skin needs to be hydrated, and this product makes my face feel smooth and soft...and smell amazing all day. There is no oily residue, just a natural shine. LOVE IT! 

So, get over to their Facebook page and Follow on Twitter to find out how to get in on the giveaways! Good Luck and Happy Mother's Day!

Monday, November 11, 2013

Little Liars! (When your child lies)

I hate when my kids bold face lie!

"Wasn't me!"

"I didn't do it!"

"I don't know..."

No matter how perfect and wonderful your kids are, they're eventually going to lie. It may be a little white lie, it might be a lie with a huge impact on everyone in the family...maybe it's your two year old, maybe it's your teen...

But, when it becomes a habitual thing, what's a parent to do?

First of all, it's important to know that when your kid lies, you have somehow made it possible for them to lie. Not to blame you (sorry!), but you need to stop giving your child the option to lie.

Scenario #1

For example, let's say your eight year old accidentally helped himself to a piece of pie that you told your kids NOT to touch.

"Who took the piece of pie?" will put your child in a spot where he can lie.  Even asking him why he took it could lead to a lie. How easily "not me" or "I didn't do it!" slips out to avoid consequences!

Instead, you can simply say, "I told everyone not to touch the pie until I was ready to dish it out. Because you did, you have already eaten your piece. Don't expect any when the rest of us have dessert."

Scenario #2

Your cute little toddler is running around the house, playing and having fun, and out comes a "bad word" from her mouth. What do we say right away, without even thinking?

"Did you just say _____?"

And, you've set your little one up to feed you the lie, "No!"

Instead, skip right past the question. Why ask the obvious?

"We do not say bad words!" Then, dole out the warning or time out.

Scenario #3

Here's where things get difficult.

In our house, it's not always easy to pinpoint who did what with eight children. When something comes up missing or broken, the entire house seems to chime tones of "it wasn't me" and "I didn't do it".

I have to play detective by questioning suspects and collecting evidence, process of elimination. Lol

Often, when it's all said and done, I still have no answers and a definite liar or two in the bunch.

So, here's what I did the other day when the Egg Nog that I had purchased just the night before and specifically told all of the children not to touch ended up half empty the next morning. I lined all of my children up side by side, told them to turn around and face the wall, no talking, and they would stay there until someone confessed to stealing the Egg Nog.

And I let them stand there, whispering under their breath to each other. I overheard the word "unfair", and although I told them not to talk, I figured a little sibling pressure on the culprit couldn't hurt. About 20 minutes later, a confession came out. (Although later, it was recanted. The kiddo claimed they just felt bad that the four year old and six year old had to stand there like that and God would punish the real person who did it...so who knows?)

But, you get the point here. Before you ask the questions, just think about how you could rephrase what you are going to say to avoid your child lieing.

If you already know they did it, skip right to the reminder of why we don't do it and dole out the punishment.

Scenario #4

The habitual liar. (Sigh....)

Here's where frustration can really max out. This is the child that will lie to you, even when they know you know that they did it...or didn't do it (like their homework).
This child will lie to you when you just saw them, with your own eyes, perform the offending act, and then try to jump on the defensive with you.

Don't buy into it!

Do not ask them why they did it, there are no explanations. Do not ask the child anything. Tell them.

"You know that behavior is wrong."

When that child starts to open their mouth to spout out their excuses or bold faced lies, repeat yourself.

"You know that behavior is wrong. And it won't be tolerated. There are consequences for that type of behavior." Go on to state the consequence that needs to be paid by the child for their infraction. Repeat any of the above as necessary until your child hears you.

(Whatever you do, don't say that a consequence will happen the next time this happens. Because there shouldn't be a "next time" around if that behavior is not accepted. Right?)

Put your foot down, don't accept lieing, but most importantly, don't lie yourself. Or, at least don't do it in front of your kids. ;)

Friday, April 26, 2013

3 Bizarre Hotels the Kids Would Love!

Although we haven't made plans for a trip somewhere amazing for a while, there is another way to let the wonders of the world take you and the kids away for a moment.

No, maybe you do not have the ability to pack your bags and run to a land far away, but you can sit at the computer with the kids and show them some of the most bizarre looking hotels around the world. Take an online trip with your family!

Or maybe, just maybe, you're really looking for a cool place to take your children during their vacation. Maybe this was your year to take that fabulous, unique family vacation. If that's the case, I envy you!

Anyhoo...Here are 3 of the most bizarre hotels that we could find around the world to show your children when you're all antsy to take a vacation:

1. Utter Inn - Stockholm, Sweden - We you ever imagine that this was actually a hotel?

Well, this isn't the actual hotel, because the majority of the actual Utter Inn is underwater. Yes, below this cute little red shack that reminds me of ice fishing, the guests will enjoy the following comfort:

Created by Mikael Genberg, artist and sculptor, the Utter Inn puts people who love to be on the lake for activities, like water sports, right in the middle of the lake. There's more of a comforting, homey feeling to the Inn, so don't expect the Ritz. If you choose to stay at this hotel, you will be transferred to it in a boat and your first impression will be the kitchenette and a small dining area in the red shack that is above the water. Surrounding the red shack is a small deck that guests can enjoy the views of the lake from. Underwater is where the guests will sleep, in a human sized aquarium.

Don't be alarmed when the boat driver stops the boat, drops you and your family off, and drives away only to leave you and the family members you are staying with alone. There won't be any bellhops, no receptionists, and no room service, however you can elect to order a dinner that is delivered by boat. Unfortunately, the Utter Inn does not have enough room for our humongous family - we'd have to leave most of the kids home and that's no fun! - because there are only two twins beds for sleeping arrangements.

While the Utter Inn offers a unique experience, it doesn't look all that comfortable, but you won't have to worry about noise from other guests at this hotel, because you will be the only ones.

2. The Capsule Inn - Japan

Now, if I'm going to take my family to one of the most unique and crazy hotels in the world, it would not be The Capsule Inn in Japan. I'm just sayin'...

And here's why:

For the record, this is where you sleep, in these little holes in the walls. It almost makes me think of coffins and I highly doubt I would get a good night's rest in them. Plus, there would be strangers sleeping - and snoring! - right next to you or down the hallway...not my idea of comfort!


3. Free Spirit Spheres - Vancouver Island, Canada

Of course, not everyone can make it to Sweden or Japan, so we looked around Canada and we found the Free Spirits Spheres on Vancouver Island. You will walk on the 5 acre property to a staircase that is wrapped around a tree, and then climb the stairs to your "hotel room" that looks like this:

On the inside of this strange looking cabin (or pod, as they call it) in the woods, you will find a cozy place to stay, suspended between 10 and 15 feet in the air. One is cedar, one is spruce and one is made of fiberglass.

 Inside will be a double bed, a microwave, and a refrigerator. And, even though you will be out in the woods, far away from civilization, each of the three pods also has an iPod docking station in it. Don't be surprised if the pod sways on a windy day.

Cool, huh? I hope you spend a moment sharing these cool places with your kids! And, if you actually get to visit one (or ever been in the past), I would love to hear about your experience! Happy travels!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Letting Your Child Fail... To Succeed

I always say that our job as parents is to make sure that are children are successful in life. Of course, it's up to us, as parents, to figure out exactly how to raise a child to be successful.

There's something that you might not know about parenting and successful children. And that includes letting your child fail, because failure teacher your children how to handle difficult situations on their own and also how to learn from them...

And if you think about it, the more we fail,  the more we learn techniques to help us become more successful. Right?

If you want to raise your child so that he or she has character,  strength,  and is eventually successful in their life,  LET THEM FAIL! (And then be there to help pick them back up.)

Now, this may sound like brutal parenting,  but take a look at how your children have learned over the years. Let's talk about little Sally. Little Sally started out as a newborn who didn't know how to talk or walk or do anything.  You had to do everything for her, right? Now,  because little Sally fell down a million times and  mispronounced word a million times,  she was actually failing and learning.

I know it's actually kind of a negative way of looking at things. But, it is honestly the way that things work with us humans.

Let's fast forward, a few years from now when little Sally is interested in sports or maybe a part in a school play.  What do you do if she doesn't get the part that she tried out for or make the sports team? What do you do if she makes a sports team but cannot hit,  pass,  or catch the ball to save her life?

This is where you need to let her failures teach her how to succeed.  Encourage her to try it again next time around but most importantly, we need to teach our children how to overcome their anxieties about failing. And we need to teach them that failing is okay as long as we learn from it.

But, how do we do this?

Let's look at this concept from a different perspective.

Why We Don't Want Our Kids to Fail

First of all, it's understood that it hurts us as parents when our children fail. Not necessarily because we need them to succeed or it makes us feel like failures as parents, but more so because it hurts them when they fail. And, what hurts our children hurts us.

We want them to succeed at everything, because then they will feel good about themselves.

But, setting your child up to succeed all the time by only permitting them to do what they will obviously succeed up can also be setting them up to fail. What do I mean by this? You're going to help your child select classes in school that you feel like they will get an A in, rather than choosing challenging courses that there's a chance they will fail.

Two psychologists, Dan Kindlon and Madeline Levine have studied these concepts. They wrote that people who were overprotected by their parents are more likely to experience difficulties during their teenage years and young adulthood when they were confronted with real life problems. These people are not accustomed to finding solutions to problems, because their parents always solved problems for them or kept them from facing failure, therefore they struggle with handling problems on their own.

Does this mean that we have to set up our children to fail so they can become successful?

Essentially, yes. Whenever anyone attempts to do something that they have never done, something that they are not familiar with, there is always a chance of failure. Right?

Here's what we need to remember: we will be right there beside them when they fail to teach them how to overcome the feelings that are associated with failing and we can teach them how to deal with the feelings and use the experience to learn from.

It's called...character building. And, believe it or not, failing is one of the best ways to build character, if used correctly.

As a matter of fact, a local psychologist here in Buffalo, NY, Mark Seery, led a team of psychologists here at the University of Buffalo in some research regarding these concepts. This group of researchers found that when adults have grown up without - or with very little - adversity in their lives, they ended up less confident and satisfied in their lives, as opposed to people who had been through some 'rough times' in childhood. It sounds a bit backwards from what we would expect, but these researchers suggested that overcoming obstacles “could teach effective coping skills, help engage social support networks, create a sense of mastery over past adversity, [and] foster beliefs in the ability to cope successfully in the future.”

So, although we want to protect our children from the hurts and ouchies in life, we also have to let them experience some of them. Now, I'm not saying that you should stand back and let your child suffer with bad decisions and mistakes, while pointing the finger and saying, "I told you so!"

On the contrary, although you "let" your child fail, you also are going to be there for them when they find their back against the wall or their face flat on the floor. Talk to your child, ask them what they could have done better. How would they handle the situation in the future? 

Turn every failure into a learning lesson.

Don't fear letting your child fail, because it is good for them. Let them try new things, let them experience the let downs in life. Just be there for them when they fall, help them dust their jeans off, and remind them that every failure helps them learn something new about themselves, the world that they live in, and life in general. 
Failing is okay, as long as you learn something from it.

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